February 28, 2013

An Open Letter to the Pittsburgh Jack Rabbits

Dear LaMarr Woodley and the Pittsburgh Jack Rabbits,

I think you know why I'm writing you this letter. Your "performance" in the inaugural season of the PBA League has been abysmal. I know the team has no chance of getting to the step-ladders in the 2013 season, but that doesn't mean you can't start building for 2014.

Look at that fearsome bunny!
While I appreciate that the Jack Rabbits have taken on a novel international approach, I think more needs to be done. This team is not going to be a fan favorite with outings like you've had to date, so let me offer a few suggestions to help you make a significant contribution to this new league.

1) Pick Up a Free Agent

Clearly the bowlers on this team are not working out. I think it is time to put someone on waivers and pick up a free agent who is not already affiliated with a team.  There are a lot of great bowlers out there who are itching for some more time on the lanes and possible television experience.

Better yet, take some house league bowler or a rookie PBAer and give him a chance to impress everyone. It would make for a great story and get more fans interested in the league and the team. (My weekends in 2014 are wide open, by the way)

2) Engage Your City

I know these guys are busy traveling the country for tournaments, but during the off season I think it would be great if a few of you would come out to Pittsburgh for a meet and greet or bowling event. LaMarr, aren't you affiliated with some big sports team here in Pittsburgh? Invite your team to a Steelers game and let them see how big of a sports town this really is. If the team has a sense of pride in the city they represent they might subconsciously put forth a better effort.

Going back to point number 1, why not pick up a local bowler. Trade for Michael Machuga, he's a western Pennsylvania guy. But I know there are also other PBAers from the area that would embrace the opportunity.

Also, Pittsburgh as a whole does not seem to be a big bowling city. Lets get the team involved in promoting our sport to the local youth and teach them the values of bowling. It has exercise, teamwork, sportsmanship and it is a lot of fun. Don't miss a great opportunity to do some big things here in western Pennsylvania.

3) Change That Name!

Jack Rabbits. I get it, it is a popular rollercoaster at Kennywood amusement park. But have all the good names associated with Pittsburgh already been taken? Big Macs, emoticons, the polio vaccine and Mr. Yuk were invented here. Pittsburgh was the home of Andrew Carnegie, H.J. Heinz, and George Westinghouse. Hell we practically have our own language (n'at). You want a Pittsburgh name, call yourselves the Pittsburgh Yinzers.

If the team doesn't improve you'll be known as another famous Pittsburgh area rollercoaster, West View Park's the Dips.

Osku. LaMarr. Get it together, ok. For the good of the team, the league, and the city of Pittsburgh.


Zach from Bowling in the Burgh

1 comment:

  1. I am a 25 year old bowler from pittsburgh I would love to join the team and Lamarr u are my favorite player back to ur days as a DE at Michigan..... GO BLUE I am a die hard Michigan fan ID love to bowl for u